Tag Archives: perspective

Making Memories

30 Monday May 2016

Posted by in Life Lessons, Relationship Building

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Like 50% of people in America today, I grew up with in a home with divorced parents. Mine happened to split up when I was six years old and because I was so young, I have very few memories that I can recall of my Dad from when my parents were still together. However, there is one that I remember vividly.

My sister and I had gone to bed and were fast asleep when my Dad came in to our room and woke us up. He told us that the original version of the Wizard of Oz was on TV and we needed to see it. I remember how exciting it was for us to get out of bed and go in to my parents’ room, jump in to their bed and watch the Wizard of Oz for the very first time… and as a family. That was one of my favorite memories with both of my parents.

Now to today… I have been a foster Mom to a boy and a girl (siblings, who are now nine and 11 years old) since October 31, 2014. In just a few short weeks they will be moving in to their “forever home” as they get adopted by a family that we have known for many years, and love. It is such an emotional time as we prepare our hearts to say goodbye to the first kids to ever call us Mom and Dad.

Tonight, the boys were out for the evening so it was just my foster daughter and I at home. Her teeth were brushed and she was in her pajamas and I was getting ready to tuck her in. For some reason I flashed back to many years ago when my Dad ‘broke the rules’ and in turn, created a memory that I will never forget. I looked at my foster daughter and said “You want to go swimming?” She looked at me (slightly confused) and said “Tonight?” and I nodded.

And so we traded our pajamas for bathing suits and went outside to the pool, cranked up some of her favorite top 40 tunes and swam, danced, sang and laughed in the pool for over two hours… in the rain. As the steam came off the pool, she swam over and gave me a big hug. It was one of the many times during our two hours in the pool that I had to hold back my tears.

Sometimes you just need to let the ‘rules’ go to create memories and beautiful moments that will last a lifetime. For me, tonight was one of those times.

Time for Some Fresh Perspective

12 Saturday Jul 2014

Posted by in Goal & Priority Setting, Leadership, Life Lessons, Perspective

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Let’s face it, life is busy. Deadlines, commitments, responsibilities… and the list goes on. There are rarely enough hours in a day to get ‘it’ all done (whatever ‘it’ is), let alone step away from all the craziness for some fresh perspective. But when I make time for it… wow!

I recently started reading the book Harvard Business Review’s 10 Must Reads on Managing Oneself. The first chapter in the book is an article by Clayton M. Christensen titled “How Will You Measure Your Life”. First, if you don’t already own this book I recommend heading straight to Amazon and getting yourself a copy – it’s amazing.

I paused many times throughout this chapter to simply reflect because the concepts, lessons and perspective gained were so profound. A few of my favorite points were…

  • Being a great leader affects so much more than helping people perform at their best to achieve your company’s objectives. Being a great leader means the people who work with you and for you are positively impacted by you so when they leave the office, they are excited, rejuvenated and in a position to achieve their greatest life ambitions away from work as well. It means that because of their interaction with you, their personal life is better. You’ve built them up in a way that allows them to be a better parent, spouse, volunteer, etc. Wow. That extends well beyond what many think a leader’s role is.
  • Christensen shares one of his greatest learnings; “It’s easier to hold to your principles 100% of the time than 98% of the time”. Through life experiences, he knows that the phrase ‘just this once’ almost always turns into ‘more than once’ and he won’t compromise his values… not even a bit.

These are just two examples of what I took away – there are many more great insights. All week I’ve been thinking about what I read on leadership, life purpose, values and other great principles. All from one author. One book. One chapter. A lot of the concepts weren’t new to me, but Christensen’s approach allowed me to think of them in a new way, providing a fresh context to get me thinking. The rest of this book is proving to be just as thought-provoking.

How do you bring fresh perspective and new context in to your life? Perhaps you read, or maybe watch some of the great TED talks that are out there. It could even be a conversation over a coffee with a mentor or friend that will challenge your thinking. Whatever your preferred approach, just make sure you do it. Carve out time to think differently. Challenge the status quo. Because after all, life is about continually growing, evolving, becoming better, and then taking action so when your days are over, you can say with confidence “I truly became my best self and gave everything I could. I know beyond a shadow of doubt that I achieved my life’s purpose”.

You Decide if Your Glass is Half Empty, Half Full or Just Plain Overflowing

19 Thursday Jul 2012

Posted by in Perspective

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Every day, every hour and every minute serves up an opportunity for you to decide how to respond to a particular situation. The situation may be the hunt for misplaced car-keys when you’re already running late for your first meeting of the day, it may be a cranky person who takes your order at Starbucks in the morning, it may be big changes at work or in your career or it may even be personal health challenges. Regardless, the fact remains that each day presents you with literally hundreds of situations at you that give you an opportunity to respond positively or negatively – it’s simply up to you.

When things come flying at you throughout the day (as they always will) here are five points to ponder before you decide how to react:

  • Is the sky in fact falling? Sometimes your initial reaction to a situation is “it doesn’t get any worse than this!” but really, is that the case? Often if you give a situation a chance to settle in, you find that not only is it not negative, it more than likely has many positive outcomes as well. If you are caught off guard by something that was thrown your way, give it some time (or even sleep on it) before you react. Don’t be the person to jump to negative conclusions and overreact – instead always try to be the optimist!
  • You’re in control. Although you may not have the opportunity to shape or control the situation itself, you are completely in control of how you react to the situation. You can take something that truly may be negative, look for the positives in it, and turn it around. You ultimately control how the situation plays out by the way you respond to it, so keep it positive!
  • Your character will often be judged on your reaction to the situation. Anyone can be a ‘hero’ during the good times, leading people to celebrations and victory dances. However, a true leader will be able to shine during the tough situations by being authentic and gaining trust by showing their true character. Make sure when people get a glimpse in to your true character, it’s a side of you that you want to be seen.
  • Leaders set the tone. In times of challenge, people look around to see how the leaders are reacting. If you’ve ever been on a flight with extreme turbulence, I don’t know about you but I always look at the flight attendants. If they are calm, cool and collected I take a deep breath and relax. However, if they look frazzled and panicked, I get anxious and wonder if I should be in panic mode as well. Keep in mind whether it’s your team, your family, friends or even your spouse, you often have the ability to set the tone for how others react to a particular situation so make sure you’re setting the right tone!
  • You always have a choice. One of the great leaders I have the privilege of working with has a saying that comes to mind regularly for me, and that is “you always have a choice”. The more I ponder it, the more interesting that phrase becomes. If you think about what kinds of situations people all around the world are faced with every day, there are actually millions of people who find themselves in situations they have no control over. They don’t get to choose whether or not they work, what they will eat or where their next vacation is – their decisions are much more life and death than we face in North America. How fortunate are we that we live in an area of the world where we have so many choices in our lives. If a situation really is one you want to change, you have the freedom to do that.  If you can’t find a way to feel good or find the positive in a situation, count your blessings that you live in a country where you have a choice and can change the situation.

Next time you’re wondering if the glass is half empty or half full, remember that you are in fact the one that is filling the glass and can decide if it’s full, empty or just plain overflowing.